Like a Christian

"Mom, will you be there when I die?"  somber and serious his dark brown eyes peered into mine awaiting my answer.  I questioned what he meant and he explained further "in the crowd mom, will you be there watching me in the crowd, you know when people make fun of me and when I die like a Christian."  My heart sank deep into the pit of my stomach, tears welled up and spilled over.  I grasp his precious face and said - That makes me very sad to think about; I hope you don't have to die that way, but mommy would be very proud of you, and I know you would be with Jesus if you died that way.

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. - Philippians 3:10-11

"I claim to be a man of faith and prayer, and even if I were cut to pieces, I trust God would give me the strength not to deny Him and to assert that He is." -- M.K. Gandhi

Could I endure my child suffering harassment, persecution and even death in the name of Christ?
Do I really want to know Christ by sharing in his sufferings?  Could I be cut to pieces asserting that He is?

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power...put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. 
- Ephesians 6:10,13-18

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. - Philippians 4:13

God, Wearing your name, being a "Christian" means daily I lay my own life down and I allow you to strengthen me, to make me strong, to equip me through your word.  I hear the words of my son - unafraid, undeterred to be for you, even if at the cost of his own life.  I hear an eagerness to accept you and make his life for you.  "I choose Jesus" - he said Sunday.  And God I praise you!  It is about YOU.  I choose you too, again and again I choose you, and your way.  Forgive the times when I don't.  I pray for your mercy and favor in this world.  I pray for a hedge of protection around my life and my family.  I pray for the Church - that it may be one in Christ and in you just as Jesus prayed.  Father, Give me courage to be different, strength and endurance in times of trouble and through it all peace in Christ. 

Reaction

I make choices everyday.  Coffee or tea? $4.58 from Starbucks or home French pressed?  Apple or Orange?  Self-controlled or Edgy?  Positive or Negative?  Time wasted or Time spent well?  Relationship focused or Task focused?  Information in, choice made.
And the absence of choosing is in itself is a choice.

Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. - James 4:17


It's much more than apples and oranges.  The good I ought to do.

Where do I begin?

Submit yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  Come near to God and He will come near to you.  Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded...Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. - James 4:7, 8, 10


Submit (verb) : to defer to another's judgment, opinion, decision; to yield oneself to the power or authority of another.
I begin by actively putting my will, my plans, and my opinions on hold- until they are congruent with Gods.  I yield myself to the unfathomable power of the creator of the universe.  I will run with purpose away from the web of lies and temptation the devil spins in this world.  For when I flee the world and draw near to God He promises me He will come near to me.  When I see me for who I am, so small compared to Him, and truly humble myself before Him, He will lift me up.

Do you see the reaction?

He asks us to react.  To be faithful, to choose Him, to defer our ideas to His, to be humble before Him.
And
He will draw near to us, He will lift us up.  


God, forgive me when I choose my own way.  It is a daily process to submit myself to you, sometimes a minute to minute process - Come near to me as I read your word, and stay with me.  Hide your word in my heart and fill my mind with your priorities, opinions and actions.  Give me a meek spirit that I may continually walk in humility before you.  Thank you for your promises, and your faithfulness to carry them out in my life.   Help me react.

Believe

The song echoed in my heart, the lump in my throat produced crocodile sized tears which streamed down my face.  And it wasn't the song, more, the realization of the reality of the words.  Stop and listen....

Take a look at the mountains
Stretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean
Far as your eye can see
And think of Me

Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am

And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look around you
I'm spelling it out one by one

I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you, yesterday and todayAnd tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more

We "know" God loves us...But do we stop to relish in the amazing love of an infinite, all powerful creator and God?  My eyes well with tears now as I breath in the love of God and I allow myself to believe.  Really believe.  With all His heart God loves me.  More than the big and beautiful stars he designed, more than the sun which gives us light.  I am His own unique design, and He loves me. 

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. - 1 John 4:16

Am I relying of God's love?  Am I living in love? 
Too many day's I rely on my to-do-list, my plans.
It is not the daily tasks that complete me.  I could never do enough. 
I am completed only in His love, and forgiven through Jesus and his sacrifice.

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  - 1 John 4:9-10

How could my response be anything but to love Him too.

We love because He first loved us. - 1 John 4:19

God make me complete in you again, as I recognize how you love me.  May each day I stop to praise you for the way you love me.  Perfectly, forgiving, merciful love.  I am unworthy, just a single grain of sand in this amazingly beautiful world You've created.  I have sinned, I have a tarnished this life.  Yet you give me Jesus.  And in his sacrifice I am made clean, spotless before you, and complete.  I want to love you - may my life be filled with obedience in response to your love.

Owie

His eyes welled up with tears, his leg banged up and bloody.  The blood disappeared under a transformer band-aid, and with a strong will he dammed up his tears.  Heads bowed and hands folded we gave his hurt and his worry to God.  And we imagined together a place where band-aids are rendered useless, where our bodies will be ever strong, without pain, without injury, always perfect.

So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. -1 Corinthians 15:42-44

This body; full of weakness, perishing a little bit hour by hour, imperfect and experiencing pain.  Clumsy  full of mis-steps and misguided choices. 

No tears in heaven no sorrows given
All will be glory in that land
There'll be no sadness all will be gladness
When we shall join that happy band.

No tears (in heaven bear) no tears (no tears up there)
Sorrow and pain will all have blown
No tears (in heaven bear) no tears (no tears up there)
No tears in heaven will be known.

--No tears in Heaven (Skeeter Davis, 1967)

A perfect body; never withering, in a glorious place surrounded by the presence of our Heavenly Father.  Full of grace and gracefulness.

God, thank you for the temporary status of this body, and for the promise of a life everlasting with you in heaven.  Thank you for the health you've given me - what a blessing, may I use my body to glorify you and do works that reflect you.  I seek you to cover my worry, and my pain - I know you will take care of me and I trust in you.  Until the day you bring me home may I find joy, and peace in this life you've blessed me with - tears pain and all.                                                                                                                       

Joe-Christian

While perusing one of my favorite blog sites I read an article about being an "awesome-christian."  As if there's some attitude + servant hood formula that equals a gold-star from Jesus.  What's my ruler, my scale, my gold-star standard?  How am I judging my heart, and to what am I comparing my service? 
Is it?
Me vs. Joe-Christian.   Because if it is; My attitude compared to Joe's, well there's no comparison.  I'm serving more than Joe.  I'm in the Word just as much, maybe more than Joe.  I might even follow the law of the land more closely than Joe.

For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  Why do you look at the speck of saw dust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? - Matthew 7:2-3

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. - Proverbs 16:18

When I begin to compare my life to others; I'm not only judging their walk, but I'm neglecting to examine my life against the ONE standard that matters.  I forget that the grace credited to me was not earned, but a free gift.

For who makes you different from anyone else?  What do you have that you did not receive?             1 Corinthians 4:7a

So, when I compare my life to the ONE from whom I received the gift.  It's laughable, the idea that my life could equal much of anything against His.
His life was perfection.  Given fully in obedience to serving, healing, helping, teaching, guiding, loving.
Mine full of imperfections.  Divided attention at best, as the battle of self against spirit wages.

God, please bring to the forefront of my mind areas of pride, and feelings of self-righteousness that I need to release.  May I have an attitude of humility and gratitude to you for the gift of grace.  Give me peace and joy in the relationships I have with others.  Equip me to be a servant of others and a light for you.

Give it away

We love because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:19

He couldn't understand why he had to give up his Wii time with daddy to go shopping.  Bundling for the cold to brave the over-crowded store.  An attitude so sour it made me pucker.  So gently I explained.  A big-brother with a sick baby sister.  A big-brother whose baby sister is going to die.  A big-brother whose Christmas could be sad.  a big-brother whose mommy and daddy can't afford Christmas.

And then he understood.

Freely you have received, freely give. - Matthew 10:8b

A Christmas for a big-brother, a Christmas for four who planned to go without.  $50.00 for groceries, a warm coat, new shirts and a few toys.  A meager gift compared to the first gift of Christmas.  But one that would bring joy and maybe a little hope.

...It is more blessed to give than to receive. - Acts 20:35b

An empty pocket, a full heart.  So it is!  Much more blessed to give than to receive. 

God, I have received much from you.  Foremost, your overflowing grace and love that comes through Jesus.  Thank you for loving me, thank you for forgiving me, thank you for blessing me.  Thank you for giving us the resources to be able to give to others.  I praise you for the hearts of my children that want to serve and understand you.  May you give us opportunities to teach and lead them.  We give you the glory, may our works reflect your love.  Thank you for loving us first.

Baby Story

 There was nothing super-natural about my children's conception.  There was no stress of treacherous travel just days before their birth.  No fear for lack of money.  No worry of a place to stay.  Their births both routine in a hospital sterile, and warm.  And each child was celebrated!  Surrounded by family praising God for the miracle of life, and the gift of a child.

But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.  You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus"..."the Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.  So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God." - Luke 1:30-31,35

A super-natural conception

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David...He went there with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 

Hectic, tiresome, dangerous travel

While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son.  She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in the manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. - Luke 2:4-7

No birthing coach, no take-home outfit, no hospital, not even a cradle

There were shepherds living out in the fields nearby...the angel said to them "Do not be afraid.  I bring you good new of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.  This will be a sign to you; You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger"...So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph and the baby who was lying in the manger. - Luke 2:8-16 (paraphrase)

Not celebrated by family, but visited by lowly dirty shepherds, strangers straight from the field

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. - Luke 2:19  

Not forgetting a single piece of God's unfathomable plan, not questioning the details - but simply treasuring up the miracle of God's love and provision. 

God, as the Christmas season comes to a close help me to treasure and ponder the way that you gave Jesus to us.  Give me understanding of your heart as I raise the children you've blessed me with.  Let me marvel in the miracle of life.  Let me trust in your provision.